For a second, I thought that at last he has finally written a quote or poem dedicated to me. But alas! He was merely suggesting about posting for Instagram on Valentine's day. Dear me! I can only remain silent and keep my thoughts to myself whilst sighing with a deep breath. My long awaited dream of reading his eloquent words of love has remained elusive. How disappointing! I am ashamed for craving for something I can never ever obtain. Our relationship, although filled with commitment and love has become platonic - routine. Today, I'll give up my hopes of ever receiving any of your works that are solely created for me. My dear poet, from now on I'll chastise myself for wishing our relationship was more romantic.
February 14, 2018themonochromereaper
His eyes glued to the screen ...and the awaited scene unravelled. The waif-like body of a fair-skinned Jewish brunette was in a state of undress, Conspired to fornicate with the German gentleman. Between the beautiful yet tragic story the movie must have held, Its nudity and sex scenes ruined my chances of savouring it. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious was the sight she flaunted, Musical chords echoing in the silence of the night ensued later as their bodies endlessly gyrated. I, on the other hand drowned out the ignominious pandemonium, Dismayed. Suddenly I felt him clutching my hands And I remained silent, frigid. No intimacy from me will he get. I felt betrayed as his eyes lingered to the repetition of the intimate scene. I used to be jealous in moments like this. However I can only despair for I cannot tell a grown man how I despised his watching these sorts of things over and over. I guess I was done, too tired of complaining, too tired of explaining for I cannot control a grown man's actions. He will do what ...
February 8, 2018themonochromereaper
Don't you know My Love? I planned to love you throughout the remainders of my life For I have always thought that mine is a destiny to be by your side With your arms wrapped around me, holding me so tight As if you were clutching to dear life. I vow to endure all of these until all my heartaches and nightmares end, Until my tears turned to crust around my eyes - dried. I will persist until I become the kind of person you immensely desired. But will you just let me whither and die a painful yet beautiful death? Will you watch me as I'm morphing, bleeding myself dry? Oh My Rationale Guy, pardon my whirlwind of untapped emotions.
February 7, 2018themonochromereaper
...whenever I close my eyes at night and drift to sleep, I feel the loneliness of not being accepted as I am. Why am I even here? Why am I staying when I'm just a tool that's considered a prized posession until I have outlived my purpose? A tool, wherein the instant I have shown my defects is rendered useless, unwanted. Why can't you accept my highs and lows, My Love? I am currently working on myself, doing my best to live with you harmoniously, Wishing for you to be happy, Assisting you in my little ways. I only wanted to be loved, desired and accepted as I am. Is that too much too ask? Should I commence erasing my individuality and start living like an AI? With a brand new slate-of-a-brain, programmed to do everything with sheer precision, efficiency and consistency. Perfect yet emotionless. Just as you wanted.
February 7, 2018themonochromereaper
He was a poet I have admired from afar. I felt the emotions in his words, I saw the deep scars inside his glassheart. Strong and fragile he was... He kept falling for the wrong ones, Breaking his own heart While I sat here in the sidelines Waiting, waiting for our paths to collide. One day I was merely an admirer from afar, But now I was in love With this mysterious poet, extraterrestrial. I thought to myself that it would be great To feel the intense magnitude of his love. I yearned to be his muse - The only one he loves, The only one he desires, His sole inspiration to continuously write. My wish suddenly came true out of the blue, As I watched the stars falling from the sky. We're no longer strangers But friends who quickly turned to lovers and yet... As months passed by, The poet that I love stopped penning poetries of our love. How disappointed was I, you asked? How can one write hundreds of poems for his unrequited love ...
January 4, 2018themonochromereaper
I never thought that one day, I would become the very person I hate. I believe, I threw my morals out of the window When I fell in love with him. He was everything that I want. He was the kind of person That can light up my life. He makes life worthwhile. He brings out the best of me, But... Reality hits me with an uppercut to the chin. It knocked me down and me feel like a second-rate person. I'm tormented deep within, even in my dreams. But what else can I do? I can't leave him. Because as stupid as it sounds, I love him.
December 15, 2017themonochromereaper
Bored... Looking for an inspiration To write once more. I just don't feel like writing that particular article. My mind drifts, and suddenly Hours have passed, I'm still bored.
December 9, 2017themonochromereaper
There's this empty feeling that I can't shake off. I feel like I am drifting in the rapids filled with skeletons. It carressed its muddy blood on me. Torned flesh clung to my naked body As I swam across the length of the Amazon Searching for my dear salvation. Dead bodies surround me. I swam till I have strength, no more. The dead looked into my eyes, They haunt me, everywhere I go. It warned, "Ariel, yours isn't the only voice, Wakeup from your hallucination." So I begged to be released and struggled. But help... it never arrived. I drowned in the sea of blood. Then I woke up to the oozing stench of the reality - My-still-being-alive. I can only remember that I slept On the wrong side of the bed Now fully awake, I clutched the sheets To find myself alone, Far from my castle, my sanctuary. Suddenly, my worth knocked on my door Telling me to eradicate the negative thoughts - Remnants from last night's nightmare; And remain positive with the situation. I promise, I will find happiness within me For the sake of ...
December 9, 2017themonochromereaper
Was it the trojan version of lust or love When suddenly, you grabbed my face With mad excitement excitement in your eyes While we are teasing each other tonight? You must have thought it was mere play, That your touch won't hurt me If you graze me, or squeeze me tight. You seem to forget that I am a woman, Albeit not fragile, Handle me with care like a porcelain doll And leave no marks. People say that "Pain is inevetable, but suffering is not", I promise, I will never let you hurt me In the guise of rough play in the future, my love.
December 5, 2017themonochromereaper
Yes, yes, yes. A grown man, is what he is - Capable in all aspects. Determined. Free. Fit to do whatever he likes Whenever he pleases. Yet here I was, Hovering around him As if he was a child, As if he was incapacitated When clearly, he is not. That's what he feels. Why should I dictate What he should and shouldn't do? Clearly, I have no right. Since we are both alike To some degree, I admit, I don't like the way I treat him For I am also free-spirited, independent. So instead of smothering him With unwanted attention, I should just focus on me - Which meant reverting To all my hobbies that make up My individuality. Bottomline: "We can agree not to agree, I shouldn't force my opinion on you - Do the same for me too. Could you?"
November 27, 2017themonochromereaper
Site’s Peculiar Name
Everything isn’t purely black or white, there’s also the shades of gray where the hidden truth lies. The truth is, and will always be, different according to the person’s perspective on why they’ve handled things a certain way. That is how the author was able to use the “monochrome” as primary label. Also, attached to the site’s name is the word “reaper” which pertains to collector or harvester. By coining the term ”themonochromereaper,” the author tries to elucidate that this site searches for the ultimate truth in every situation.
“In this world where it is either black or white, the truth is in between, you just have to dig deeper.”