Why? Why? Why?
Why would someone give up on themselves? How can they just let things be and not fight for their dear life?
Are they tired of living?
I guess, we are all guilty of that at some point in our life. I’ve been on the verge of losing my life five years ago. But life goes on and giving up, destroying the scintilla of life you have left isn’t an option. For everytime you destroy yourself, your loved ones suffer the brunt of it.
It’s like a dull ice pick is being repeatedly stabbed in my chest whenever I watch you destroy yourself, dad.
When I was younger, you were so strong, so capable. But you have a weakness that caught up to you in later life. You never cared about living a healthy lifestyle. Now here you are, perpetually suffering. You know what’s worst?
It’s when there were countless options you could have done to emerge stronger. But no, you’d rather stay in bed, starve and faint from time to time. Not giving a care about yourself or how we may feel if we suddenly lose you.
Sometimes I wonder if this was an emotional manipulation on your part or you’ve finally decided to stop enjoying life. Did the line: “What is there left to enjoy in this world” crossed your mind? I bet it did inumerable times already.
All I ever wish was for you to be physically and psychologically strong, dad. It pains me to watch your life whittle away. It distresses me when all I can ever do is watch.
Your Loving Daughter